There is no question about it: every human being needs other human beings. As a single person, this is especially true. We are each a part of the Body. Yet we need the other parts of the Body to function well and fully. We can fulfill our purpose best when we are working alongside the other parts of the Body. As a spouse and a parent in the future, you will still need community outside of your spouse.
Community is practice for marriage. That may sound silly, but in a way, it is. The people in our lives teach us to love. We learn to anticipate the needs of others. Our relationships reveal the areas we need to grow, and our strengths. We learn to forgive, both ourselves and others. These are such important qualities for marriage. I think sometimes as singles, we forget that who we are now will carry over into marriage. Getting married won’t magically change you into a more loving person. The way you are in relationships now is creating habits and norms.
A solid community will also be imperative when you begin courting. Your community can observe that person and give you feedback. Having married couples as part of your circle is a great idea. You can observe their marriage and find qualities you desire in your future marriage. They can give you advice. Who knows-they might even know another single person who would be suitable for you! As you court and begin marriage, they might be willing to serve as a mentor couple.
We need a solid faith community, people on the same road that we are. If your people are not on the same path, your friendships will not be as fulfilling as they could be. They will be empty, lacking the Living Water. People who share your faith will pray for you, giving you unseen strength. Good relationships help us to become the people we were created to be. Positive relationships provide us encouragement, love, and understanding, qualities we need no matter what state of life we may find ourselves in. I remember a break-up I went through. I felt so weak. A solid faith community was so healing. They were a pillar of support during that difficult time, and I know the healing process would have been so much more difficult were it not for their love. There is strength in community.
Even as a married person, you will still need community. The community you are building now will hopefully build a foundation that you can even take into your marriage and the rest of your life. They can be a blessing to your spouse and children as well as yourself! We cannot do this journey alone. As a single person now, you need supportive people in your life! Let’s be real: singleness is not easy!
With Jesus and a solid community at our side, we can stand firm and know we are not alone.
What benefits have you found in community? How are you working to build community as a single person?